La Extranjera
Stories, links, and advice from newbie traveler, unseasoned quester, and baby adult, Kelly Grantham.
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In a very California move, my home airport has opened up a free yga space to help travelers zen it up. Yes.
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I like American Apparel, but I can’t go into the stores, mostly because I’m intimidated by the mannequins. When I bought this skirt from their website the other day (because anything that comes in 25 colors just had to be amazing), I found a link to a Norwegian fashion blog featuring my skirt. Basically, this weird internationalization of a company founded on the principle of domestically produced clothing is my excuse to post this picture. Something about this girl’s silhouette would make me think of a sexy Bratz doll, were that not insanely pedophiliac.
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Bought my flight to Vietnam (and back) via Seoul. This is big. This is buy-myself-traveler’s insurance big. I’m pumped. Are you pumped?
5 months, 21 days.
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Fun fact of the day: you can have Sky Mall sent to your house. Then just lock yourself in a room full of strangers with the flu, eat an ounce of pretzels, and watch the Proposal 6.6 times. Side note: tomato juice in a non-recyclable plastic cup with those funny tube-shaped ice cubes tastes more like vacation than piña coladas ever will.
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We all know 2012 is likely to be our last year on Earth. (I’m expecting something really Hitchhiker’s Guide-esque, which is why I eagerly befriend anyone trying to shake hands with a car.) Therefore, this is the year for resolutions.
In 2012, I resolve to:
- Use similes like a fifth-grade English student
- Run like I’m on the lam
- Eat like a foreign exchange student
- Drink like Nick Charles
- Drive like Mario Andretti (before I channel Nick Charles, that is)
- Study like I have Asian parents
- Cook like Julia Child, not to be confused with Paula Deen, is watching
- Make friends like a child
- Go to fucking Vietnam (THAT’S RIGHT.)
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- People: Why do you want to be a doctor?
- Me: Well, the only other career that allows me to explore the human body every day is prostitution, and whores don't get dental benefits.
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- Kid: I don't want to do this! We don't need to learn this crap!
- Me: Okay, you don't have to do the classwork. You take this mop and this toilet brush and go clean the bathrooms for the hour, and I'll give you eight dollars.
- Kid: For eight bucks? No way!
- Me: It's menial labor or sitting through class, babe. It's best you learn that now.
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I’m back at SFO, finally. Four months with my feet on the ground is just too long.
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Photo reblogged from Lemon with a Hint of Happy
See? Americans can be seductively international. Especially the sexy blonde Berkeley-goers.
Via caitlincaitland.
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And then it hit me, this metaphysical weariness that seemed to strike at the very will to live. I could walk and walk, but my legs were never going to carry me anywhere. I could open my mouth to ask directions, but I knew it was no use. Nothing intelligible would come out. Because, if nn one understands you, it is you who are dumb, not they \vho are deaf. Language has always been the dictatorship of the majority. If you are in the minority where language is concerned then you either become mad or lonely, invisible and inaudible; and that is what I was, confronted by those impassive faces and the solipsistic movement of the traffic: powerless.Carsten Jensen (I Have Seen the World Begin)
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- Kelly: That's interesting. My dictionary says that "mor," meaning "the organic component of soil formed under acid conditions" comes from a Danish word. Then I looked it up, and "mor" means "mother."
- Mom: Those Danes... have an interesting sense of humor.
- Kelly: Oh, but "mør" means "tenderize, dark, mouldering, juicier." What does mouldering mean?
- Mom: Like smoldering, sort of.
- Kelly: I looked it up. Nothing like smoldering.
- Google Translate voice: Mør. Mor.
- Mom: Sort of a vomit noise. What a romantic language, Danish.
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“Leave your possessions and obsessions behind. When you travel, you don’t need to pay rent. You don’t need a car. You don’t need an oven, a washer-dryer, electricity, cable TV, a gym membership, a sofa and loveseat or a closet full of clothes.
You don’t need a suit and tie to wear to your job because you don’t need a job. You don’t need to worry about paying the bills, because there are no bills to pay.”
This shit is near-pornographic. If only we weren’t trained to start planning for our futures before puberty, world travel would have become mine.
